My grandfather died today. He was the patriarch of the family and he lived up to the role, a man who could outwork us all and who we joked would out live us all. I didn't really know my dad but it never mattered because my grandpa was always there. I always knew I was important and loved, I wasn't 1 of over 20 grandkids I was 'Bobbi'. My grandfather made me believe I could be anything I wanted, he taught me that a hard days work was truly the measure of man or woman no matter what that work might be. He was a man who not only believed in the golden rule but lived by it. I loved and admired my grandpa and his memory will always be with me.


Due to the move I won't be able to return home and attend the funeral. I'm not sure how I feel about that. I love my grandfather dearly but at the same time... I'm a little relieved that I don't have to deal with my aunt Geri or my older sister and then at the same time I wish I could be there and feel like I should be. When it comes down to it though I simply can't afford the $600 it would take for my daughter and I to go and I need to get Anna back in school ... I don't know it's all very upsetting but I'm surprisingly calm about it. I've known this was coming for years though and I'm better equip[ed emotionally to deal with it than most of my family so at least I have that.

Okay in the process of moving... as well a good number of you know. I haven't seen my husband in 3 weeks and everything that could go wrong pretty much has.

First I lost my ID and had to get a replacement... well 3 weeks later and it still hasn't arrived... which is just lovely. I'm HOPING I can fly with the temporary paper ID I have. I also have my marriage license and SS card on hand just in case... I have to see if my mom has my birth certificate which I gave her to hold onto but that was 3 years ago and she's moved twice since then.

Then my friend who was going to help me move... her daughter had the baby early so she couldn't *pouts*

Then my brother who was also going to help me couldn't because he's in the middle of laying the tile in his kitchen and his wife just got a new job so she can't help him get it done.

Then my mom was going to help me but well she could only help me for one day because God forbid she miss church to help her daughter move to Seattle when her daughter just spent 340 bucks fixing the mustang for her (well for her so that my little sister can drive it but she was SUPPOSED to pay for it but is broke). And then when she was here she was obsessed with making baked spagetti for church the next day and didn't really help that much.

Then the moving company I was going to use (a uload it they haul it company) wsn't open on Saturday and didn't bother to mention that fact when I talked to them on the phone (just said that they load at the end of the week and leave at the beginning.... really annoying)

Mind you I'm doing this all by myself.... I HATE MOVING!

And my daughter is staying with my parents (to give her a chance to visit them before we move over a thousand miles away) but my mom acts like she is doing me this huge favor when in fact it's the reverse.

So then on top of the stress of moving my psychotic older sister (who mind you has been 'hospitalized' twice in like the last 3 to 6 months) comes back to town. I haven't spoken to my sister in almost a year. Why? because she's crazy and the last time I had to deal with her she attacked me and she's a bitch and just being in her presence now pisses me off. I hate her more than anyone else but I always seem to get dragged into bullshit involving her. In this case it's because the van my mom gave me (that I'm giving back to her because I don't need/want it) Crystal needs to borrow so she can go visit my mom (where my daughter is).

SO after telling my mom she either needs to bring my daughter back or find another way to keep her away from my sister I take the van down to the hotel where my sister and her boyfriend/fiance/possibly soon to be ex are staying (they btw were driving his car and hit a deer and wrecked his car hence why they needed the van) so I get the keys to him (she's not there she's over visiting an ex) so then they start to leave and the van's brake light comes on (it's been doing this for 2 years b/c the emergency brake is fucked up) and so she panics and goes back to the hotel to call my mom and blame the van having issues on me.... my mom says it's probably nothing because it has been running fine for me for 6 months and just had it's oil changed and everything. so supposedly she goes out to start it and it won't start.

So I was supposed to go get it and figure out what she did to fuck it up. (Every single time she has that van she fucks it up somehow) so I had stuff to do today and didn't get over there until tonight and the van is nowhere to be found.... I give up and go to knock on her door and she won't give me the damn keys so I can fix it.... *irritated* mind you it's foggy and I've been moving stuff all day and I'm tired and sore and NOT in the mood.

Why won't she give me the keys you ask... because she wants to talk... she wants ME and MY Husband to petition the court to adopt her son. I very clearly explained I don't want her son. I am moving back to the coast and she would never see her son, tim would never see him (her ex), and the courts would very likely say No. On top of this I don't want to deal with a kid who has issues like her son. ADHD, authority beligerent disorder (or whatever - he hates authority), and god knows what else... He's a difficult fucked up kid and it's probably her and her ex's fault but I don't give a damn and I don't want to deal with their mess or them and I would have to do both if I adopted her kid.

Then she tried to squirm out where I was moving and I wouldn't tell her more than 'the coast' and 'far far away' so she assumes I mean Maine and I'm happy to let her assume that. THEN she tries to convince me to give her my contact info, I gave her my e-mail which she already had but I blocked her on. And then she tried to get my brother's info (who's also not speaking to her) and I refused and she tried to get me to promise to keep in touch and I wouldn't and she wanted to know why and I said she's antagonistic and I don't trust her so no I won't promise that, I said I would e-mail her back so long as she was civil but that's all she's getting (and really I was lying - because as much as I hate lying telling her the truth is like asking to get attacked).

So I finally get the keys and we get to the van which she somehow managed to drive to her ex's (the kid's dad's wife's house) despite the fact that she said it wasn't running. And the lights are 'on' but not, the battery is dead, and the alternator is shot...

All this means tomorrow I get to go take the alternator down to get fixed because my mom is selling the van but ugh why do 'I' have to do this when it hadn't been giving me problems and was running fine until SHE did whatever she did? Why because I'm too nice and too good a daughter to tell my mom to fuck off and stop involving me in my older sister's issues.


In summary...
I HATE MOVING & I HATE MY OLDER SISTER!